


Child From the Stars (Lost in the Dark)

by F-117 Nighthawk (F117_Nighthawk)



Series: Dark Matter [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Adoptive Siblings, Multi, Pre-Canon, Stargazing, Stars, a few hints at Galra Keith, broganes, except we all know he's alive, keith is a bit of a sad boi here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 11:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17042807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F117_Nighthawk/pseuds/F-117%20Nighthawk
Summary: Five times Shiro finds Keith on a roof, staring at the stars.And one time Adam has to.





	Child From the Stars (Lost in the Dark)

**Author's Note:**

> working through some writers block on some of my bigger things with this. kinda based on a drawing I'm also working on which is based on a song? I'm gonna post that eventually and I'm hoping to make it into a bit of a mini series within dark matter (aka, a fic based on each section of it, all Keith-centric even if they're from Shiro's POV like this is)

“Keith?”

Shiro had absolutely no idea where his brother was. A small part of him imagined him running away like he had from several foster homes, but he shook the thought away. Keith seemed happy here.

Right?

_“Keeeeeeith!”_

He didn’t get a response. Keith was either dead asleep, and he was never like that unless he was super sick, or not in the house. Shiro ransacked the house, checking every room for his wayward brother. Visions of Keith collapsed on the floor, pale with fever or something worse, floated in his mind’s eye. He didn’t find him.

More worried now, he stepped outside. The desert nights got cold fast, which meant if Keith was out here without a jacket….he wasn’t going to think about that. He wouldn’t get hypothermia at this latitude, but he always seemed more susceptible to the cold than anyone else.

Shiro was about to yell Keith’s name again, vaguely-suburban Garrison housing complex be damned, when his eye caught on a flash of red. He looked up at it to find a familiar mop of dark hair above a red and white sweatshirt sitting on the roof of their house.

Now, _Shiro_ could get up there, but the handholds he used seemed just a little to far apart for his twelve year old brother. So how the hell had he even goten up there?

Shiro slipped around the house to the side with the lower roof and hauled himself up. From there, he steadied himself on one of the vents and managed to reach the main roof. He made sure to make as much noise as possible as he rolled over the side, not wanting to scare Keith.

“How did you even make it up here?”

Shiro barely heard him mumble “Jumped.” He was a little impressed that Keith managed to jump high enough on the material of the roof to overcome their twenty centimeter height difference. He crawled over to where Keith was sitting and looked at his brother.

Keith was curled into as much of a ball as he could while sitting up. His knees were pressed to his chest, arms curled around them like if he let go he was going to fall apart. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was afraid to close his eyes.

“You okay?”

He shrugged, gaze never leaving the stars.

“Can I give you a hug?”

Keith visibly hesitated, but after a moment leaned against Shiro’s side. He brought an arm around his shoulders and squeezed lightly, a silent reminder that he was here if he needed him. They sat in silence for a while, staring up at the stars.

“Sometimes….sometimes I miss my parents. So I come look at the stars.”

Shiro asked “Do you remember them?” before realizing that was probably a shitty move and having to stop himself from clapping his hand over his mouth.

Surprisingly, Keith just shrugged. “I can picture my dad, not very well though. When I try and picture my mom all I get….all I get is purple, and blue, and the stars.” He was silent for a moment before continuing, his voice lower and sadder. “She loved the stars. Dad did too, but not like her. She had so many stories of traveling around them. So I just….I want to travel them for her. Since she never got to.”

Shiro rubbed Keith’s back as he heard a sniffle. “You’ll get there one day soon. I promise you.”

 

* * *

 

Shiro hauled himself up the ladder with his cargo on his back. “Hey, bud.”

“Hey, Shiro.”

Keith was lying on his back, staring up at the stars, looking decidedly dejected. He was wearing one of Shiro’s sweatshirts, obvious because of how many sizes too big it was.

Shiro plopped down next to him and untied the blanket he’d been using to haul everything from his shoulders. He grabbed an apple and tossed it at Keith’s head.

“Hey!” Keith barely caught the thing and sat up, turning to glare at Shiro.

Shiro just grinned at him. “Hay is for horses.”

Keith groaned and hung his head. “Please no dad jokes, I get them enough from Commander Holt.”

“Dad jokes are a necessary part of life, Keith.”

“Yeah, and I think my life was just fine before you figured out I’d never heard one.”

Shiro continued unpacking the blanket. He had a selection of fruits that he knew Keith loved, some sandwich fixings, and a simple box hidden at the bottom. Keith watched him, chewing on the apple.

“Have you been like….saving fruit or something? That doesn’t look like the number usually in our rations.”

“Adam’s allergic to apples so he let me take his. And Matt may have...discreetly acquired a few of these.”

Keith almost choked on apple and burst out laughing. “Lieutenant Takashi Shirogane, feeding me contraband fruit. Iverson would have your head.”

“Nah, Iverson _likes_ me. It’s Admiral Torrent I’d have to worry about.”

Keith continued smiling as he munched on the proffered fruit. Shiro was glad his brother was finally smiling. He’d been gloomy all day, more so than Shiro thought reasonable for a fourteen year old. He was pretty sure he knew why, which was why he was up here.

Shiro had finished a sandwich and Keith most of the fruit when he finally spoke. “Why are you doing this?”

Shiro blinked, not having expected that question. “Sorry?”

“Why are you risking your career, or Matt’s I suppose, to get me a bunch of my favorite fruit?”

Shiro sighed. “Because you’re my brother and you’ve been off and I feel guilty about it because I think I know why _and_ I’m going to miss your birthday so I wanna try and do everything I can to make you happy.”

The gloomy look was back on Keith’s face. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“It’s just to Mars and back, Keith. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Yeah but what if something goes wrong and the ship malfunctions and you can’t land or you crash or--”

“Keith. The Garrison is extremely careful about that sort of thing. Every space force has been since before we landed on the moon the very first time. I’ll be fine.” Keith didn’t look very convinced. “I’ve been on missions before--”

“Yeah, to the moon or L-2, those aren’t as far.”

Shiro didn’t know how else to convince him, so he dropped it in favour of picking up the box still hidden under the folded blanket. “Here.”

Keith blinked at it for a moment before putting his apple core down, wiping sticky fingers on his pants (Shiro glared at him but Keith didn’t seem to notice), and grabbing the box. “What’s this?”

“Early birthday present. Go ahead, open it.”

Keith stared at him for a second before opening the box. “....Is this?”

Shiro nodded. “One of my old cadet uniforms. Probably fits you a little better than it did me. This way, even if I’m on a mission, you’ll always have a piece of me at the Garrison. And it’s a reminder that pretty soon you’ll be up there with me. _And,_ I promise to call you on your birthday.”

Keith’s eyes were watery, but he had a soft smile on his face. “Thanks, Takashi.”

(Later, Shiro awoke in a hospital bed to Torrent talking to his mom about medals of honor for saving the entire shipment and crew, and Keith sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking his head. “”Extremely careful about malfunctions,” you said.”)

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Shiro? Do you know where Keith is?”

Shiro looked up from his reports at Colleen’s voice. “Uh, not off the top of my head.”

She pursed her lips. “We’re about to sit down for dinner and none of us can find him.”

Shiro put his datapad down and stood. “Did you check the entire house?”  
Katie and Matt appeared on the stairs. “Just finished checking the entirety of upstairs and the basement,” Katie told him, “nowhere to be seen.”

Shiro sighed. That left about one place he could be. “Sit down without us.”

The four Holts watched in bewilderment from inside as Shiro exited the house and boosted himself up to the roof via the window. Shiro paid them no mind, spotting his quarry sitting on the higher section. He scrambled up and sat down next to him.

Keith was hunched over, broken arm pressed between his chest and knees. The butterfly bandages on his cheek were barely visible past his hair. Shiro couldn’t see his eyes, but he had a feeling they were red-rimmed.

“How did you even get up here?”

“Determination,” Keith growled.

“That couldn’t have been good for your arm.”

“Don’t care.”

“Seriously, Keith, you need to make sure your arm heals correctly or you’re not going to be able to pilot.”

Keith sighed and shifted his arm, sticking it out in Shiro’s face. “It’s. Fine. Not any different from an hour ago.”

Shiro gently pushed the bright red cast and the arm within it down. “You should come down to dinner.”

“Not hungry.”

“Keith--”

_“Not. Hungry.”_

Shiro sighed and studied his brother. His hair was still hiding his face, but the tense shoulders and the way he was cradling his broken arm clearly pointed to him trying to hide the fact that he was in pain. “When was the last time you took any painkillers?”

Keith’s silence was telling.

“I’ll be right back.”

Shiro swung himself onto the lower roof then jumped onto the ground. He walked in the back door and shuffled around the kitchen, looking for a water bottle and a resealable bowl.

“Top cabinet next to the condenser,” came a voice from behind him. Shiro jumped slightly and turned.

“Oh. Uh, Thanks, Com--Sam.”

“Here, give me the bowl. The painkillers are on top of the breadbox.”

“How did you….?”

Sam smiled at him, a sad, fatherly smile, as he filled the bowl with dinner. “I’ve taken care of my fair share of stubborn teenagers. He didn’t look like he was feeling very well when I saw him earlier.” He handed Shiro the filled and closed bowl.

Shiro took it and stuffed it into his sweatshirt pocket with the water bottle and the tablets of painkillers. “Thanks, Sam, for everything you’ve done for us since--since the crash.”

Sam squeezed his shoulder. “Take care of your brother, but make sure you take care of yourself too, Shiro.”

Shiro nodded, then made his way back to the roof. Keith flinched as he sat down next to him on his good side. Shiro handed him the water bottle and then pointedly held the medicine tablets within his view. Keith turned to glare at him. Shiro got his first look that day at Keith’s red-rimmed eyes and pain-tight face. His usual bright purple was dulled with pain and grief. “Take them. You’ll feel better.”

Keith continued glaring at him, but took the tablets and washed them down with the water.

“Thank you. I know you’re probably feeling nauseous from the pain, but those are supposed to be taken with food, and I think it will help you feel better too.”

Keith sighed and accepted the spoon. He settled the bowl between his legs and ate mechanically. Shiro shifted and gently rubbed his back, trying to ease the tension. Eventually Keith set the spoon down and shifted the bowl away. He’d eaten a little less than half of it, but Shiro was grateful he’d eaten that much.

Keith leaned his full weight against him without prompting or warning and Shiro barely prevented them both from crashing sideways against the roof. Carefully, he maneuvered them so he was on his back and Keith was curled against him on his good side. “S’rry,” Keith mumbled.

“Shhh. Just get some rest, we can stay up here for a bit.”

Keith’s eyes were already closed. As the painkillers worked the tension drained out of his body and his breathing evened out in sleep. Shiro carded a hand through his hair. The moon appeared from behind a cloud, and Shiro swore Keith’s hair had a pink tinge near the ends in the half-light.

Shiro pulled his phone out, called Adam, and set it on speaker next to his head as he stared up at the stars.

 

* * *

 

Shiro swiped himself onto the roof of the Garrison and sighed as he spotted a very familiar figure on the other side.

“Please tell me you didn’t climb up the entire side of the complex.”

“No, I waited until someone came up here to check on the solar panels and slipped behind them.”

Shiro sat down next to his brother, adjusting his uniform so it sat better. Keith was hunched over on himself, orange uniform covered with his red jacket. Shiro noticed he was wearing the one he’d given him for his birthday almost a year ago.

“I got Torrent off your back, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to do that again.”

Keith hunched over even more. “You shouldn’t bother.”

Shiro gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “Keith, I’m always--”

“You _shouldn’t!_ I’m just what they keep saying, a discipline case, a lone wolf, uncooperative, temperamental, too much of a wildfire when I should be anything else! You shouldn’t bother because I’m never going to change and I’m just gonna keep _fucking up_ so you should just _give up!”_

Shiro’s heart broke. “Keith. I’m your brother. I don’t care if it’s by blood or not, I am _never_ giving up on you. So please, _please,_ don’t give up on yourself.”

Keith’s eyes were full of unshed angry tears. He turned away from Shiro and refused to acknowledge his words.

“Can you at least tell me why you punched Cadet Griffin?”

“....he tried to antagonize me by mentioning my parents.” Keith’s voice cracked on the last word like he was trying not to cry. Shiro’s already broken heart shattered into more pieces. That would have hurt him on a normal day, but so soon after losing Okasan, the only person anywhere close to a mother figure in his life….

Shiro pulled him into a hug. Keith pressed his face into his shoulder and finally let the tears fall. Sobs wracked his body as he finally let months of grief out. Shiro would have denied the fact that he was crying too. He cried for his mom, ripped away from them unfairly. He cried for a mother and father he’d never known but through Keith’s few barely-remembered stories, intertwined in the stars. But mostly, he cried for his brother. His brother who had been through so much, persevered through things Shiro knew he’d never be able to do, supported him through the hardest months of his life without a second thought, and yet didn’t know how strong he was.

“I love you,” Shiro mumbled into his hair when he could finally manage a breath, “You’re strong. You’re loyal and protective and quick thinking and a whole slew of other things, but most of all you’re _strong._ You’ve helped me so much just by being there, you’ve made it though so many things most people don’t have to even think about. So please, don’t give up on yourself, for any reason.”

Keith hiccuped and nodded.

“I’m here if you need me. I always am, even if I’m halfway across the solar system.”

He nodded again.

“Now, with all that said. Please don’t punch people?”

Keith snorted. “I’ll try.”

Well, that was better than nothing. “Come on, let’s get off the roof.”

They almost crashed into Adam when he opened the door to the roof before Shiro even swiped his card. He’d obviously been looking for at least one of them. He took one look at the wet patch on Shiro’s shoulder and two pairs of red-rimmed eyes and said “Come on, we’re going into town and getting some ice cream.”

 

* * *

 

Shiro turned into the officer’s lounge when he spotted a familiar face that was the only other person he knew that could possibly know where his brother was. The only question was whether that person was willing to talk to him right now. He sat down on the couch across from where he was grading final papers for some of the older cadets.

“Adam.”

“Takashi, I do not have the focus to talk to you right now.”

“Adam, please.”

Adam sighed, but put his datapad down. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.”

“You really shouldn’t be going on the mission. I don’t care what Commander Holt thinks.”

“It’s a little late for that.”

“It’s just-- _I love you, ‘Kashi._ And you’re being self destructive and won’t let me _or_ the kid help. A twenty month round trip with no gravity is just going to make everything worse. You _know_ what happened to the astronauts on the _Calypso._ ”

“I’m not being self destructive!”

Adam sighed and stood. “I’m not having this argument again. If you came in here looking for Keith, I let him up on the roof earlier. Go say goodbye to him.”

Shiro stared at the table as Adam started for the door. Surprisingly, he stopped next to him. Shiro felt him lean down and press a kiss into his hair before continuing. He twisted and stared at Adam’s retreating back.

“I love you too…” he whispered after him.

Shiro didn’t move until Adam had disappeared around the corner. He took a deep breath, then headed for the elevator to the roof.

When he got there the sun had just set and the stars were slowly winking into focus. Keith was sitting at the edge, out of uniform, staring up at them. Shiro stopped behind him, hesitating for reasons he couldn’t figure out.

“You know I know you’re there.”

Shiro finally managed to step forward and sit next to him. Keith glanced over at him, then back up at the stars. “You’re really gonna be up there for almost two years.”

“Yep.”

“I agree with Adam, you know.”

“I have been made aware.”

A slightly awkward silence descended on them. Shiro tried to think of something to say to reassure Keith he was going to be okay, but seeing how spectacularly he’d failed to convince Adam he was pretty sure it wasn’t going to work.

“I….I understand. Why you feel you need to go. Probably better than most. The need to prove more to yourself than to anyone else that you _can_ do this. The wanderlust and the call of the stars. But that doesn’t mean I like it. I think Adam mostly gets it too. We’re just….worried. And, as your brother and fiancee, I think we’re allowed that much.”

Shiro smiled. “Never said you weren’t. Just said I could handle it.”

“And historically, you have been. But what if this is the time that something goes wrong?”

“A wise man once told me, if you get too worried about what could go wrong, you could miss a chance to do something right.”

Keith stared at him through his bangs. “Is quoting Commander Holt _really_ your best course of action right now?”

Shiro considered. “I mean, if he’s right. And he often is.”

Keith gave him a half smile. “Fine.”

The silence was a little more comfortable.

“While you’re up there, can you take a bunch of pictures for me?”

Shiro looked at him, a smile on his face. “Sure.”

Keith leaned against him slightly and Shiro accepted the silent invitation to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “I’m gonna miss you up there.”

Keith blinked in surprise. “I’m gonna miss you too.”

 

* * *

 

Adam had looked everywhere, and he couldn’t find the kid. Normally he’d just shrug and let him turn up when he wanted, but right now….right now he didn’t think that was a good idea, to say the least. Hopefully he hadn’t snapped and punched someone again. Actually, maybe he should check that. Iverson might have thrown the kid in the brig.

He hurried over to Iverson’s office, but hesitated before knocking on the door. It was rather late at night, almost twenty-three-hundred. Was Iverson even on base right now? Fuck it, it couldn’t hurt.

The door opened before he even managed to knock. “Lieutenant Wasti.”

“Sir. May I ask you something?”

“Ask away, Lieutenant.”

“Do you know where Keith is?”

Iverson blinked. “Cadet Shirogane?”

“Er, yes, Sir. Sorry, since he’s Shiro’s brother and I don’t have him for any clases--”

Iverson waved his apology off. He tapped something on a datapad and handed it to Adam. It was a security log of accesses to the rooftop elevator. “See something off there?”

Adam stared at it for a moment before he saw the name attached to the access on the bottom of the screen: Lieutenant Commander Takashi Shirogane. “Oh.”

“I was about to go up there and see if I could get him to...I don’t know. Talk to me. You’re probably better suited to the task, though, so I’m glad you showed up.”

Adam nodded. “Thank you, Commander.” He started for the elevator. If _Iverson_ was worried about Keith enough to try and go talk to him, then he needed to get up there fast.

“Ah, Lieutenant Wasti, while you’re here.”

Adam sighed internally but turned back around. “Yes, Commander?”

“I granted your request for leave. I just have one condition.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Try and take Shirogane with you? He’s been….erratic since he found out. I think a break would be good for him.”

Adam barely bit back a “That’s what happens when he finds out you’ve declared his brother dead _via a news report_ and THEN _he_ has to tell me.”

“I’ll try. He’s stubborn, though, and I can’t make any promises.”

Iverson nodded. “All I ask is you try. Thank you, Adam.”

Adam saluted, then made his way to the elevator.

The first rainclouds of the season were covering the stars when Adam opened the door. He could just barely make out a silhouette sitting at the edge from the faint light of the waning moon. Everything was washed out and grey.

Adam stopped a few meters behind him. Keith was wearing one of Shiro’s Garrison sweatshirts, drowning in the black fabric. His arms were wrapped around his knees, head buried in them like a turtle. “Keith,” he gently said, kneeling down next to him. Keith sniffled. Adam belatedly realized he had no idea what he was doing. “Keith, I’m—“

_“It wasn’t pilot error.”_

Adam blinked at the kid’s raspy voice. “Keith, you don’t--”

“Katie hacked the feeds from Kerberos. There’s no wreckage, no crash lines. The ship is still there in pristine condition. The only thing gone is them.”

“Okay, first of all that’s illegal so I’m going to pretend you didn’t tell me that--”

“They told us last transmission time that it wouldn’t work because there was a geomagnetic storm. None of the space weather records or models have one within two weeks of that day.”

Adam squinted in confusion. “What?”

Keith whirled to face him. His eyes were crazed and Adam could’ve sworn his sclerae were an unnatural yellow. _“They’re lying to us, Adam._ They’re covering something up, something that happened on Kerberos, and either way it doesn’t _matter because they’re not--”_

Keith broke down in ugly sobs and Adam did the only thing he could think to do: pulled him into a hug. He tucked the kid’s head under his chin and held him tight as he poured his rage and grief into his shoulder. Seeing him like this hurt.

The kid cried himself out on his shoulder and Adam eventually felt his breathing even out into exhausted sleep. Gently, he slipped an arm under his knees and picked him up. He knew if he was the kid he wouldn’t want to be alone right now, so he headed to his room.

He ran into Iverson who was on his way out. He took one look at them and gave him a sad smile before moving so Adam could pass.

Adam set Keith down on his bed, pulled his boots off, and flipped the covers over the kid. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself now. He’d devoted so much of his afternoon and night to tracking the kid down, but now he needed to take care of him. What would Takashi do?

‘Kashi….

Adam collapsed onto his chair and cried quietly into his hands. He wasn’t coming back. He wasn’t going to crash into Earth in a blaze of glory, saving everyone on the ship yet again. He wasn’t coming back.

Adam wiped his eyes with his sleeve and forced himself to think about anything else. What was it the kid had said? Something about there not being a geomagnetic storm. Come to think of it, Torrent had personally come to tell him that they couldn’t establish a connection that day. Usually it was one of the techs once he got there, or Iverson calling him. Never Torrent appearing from thin air, he had more important things to do….and if what he'd said about the feeds was true....

Adam narrowed his eyes. The kid was right.

Something was up.


End file.
